


Curiosity And The Cat

by ragewerthers



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn is ridiculous, Button oh button, Domestic Fluff, F3S, Fluff, Humor, Husbands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27902737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragewerthers/pseuds/ragewerthers
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.Apparently Ardyn thought he understood this proverb perfectly.He didn't.And now his long suffering husband has to deal with the consequences of his actions.
Relationships: Ardyn Izunia/Cor Leonis
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9





	Curiosity And The Cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bgn846](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgn846/gifts).



> Hello! This is another fun prompt from my friend @bgn846 for our F3S!
> 
> Her prompt was:
> 
> '"I don't think that's your size…" with either Cor or Noct and this was what popped into my head XD It was ridiculous and fun to write all in one and I hope it reads as lightheartedly!
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr at: ragewerthers.tumblr
> 
> Enjoy! :)

“You… are a ridiculous, infuriating man and you absolutely deserve this,” Cor said, taking a sip of his coffee as he leaned against the doorframe leading into their bedroom.

“Would you believe me... if... I said... that this was.... absolutely unintentional?” Ardyn wheezed, looking up at the steel blue eyes of his husband from his collapsed position on their bed.

Now Ardyn had been through many things in his life. He’d been used as a scourge sponge, a sacrificial lamb to the astrals and as a pin cushion for his little brother… but by far the scathing look his darling Marshal was leveling him with now was probably what had hurt his pride the deepest.

“Did no one ever teach you that curiosity killed the cat?” Cor asked with a deep sigh, stepping into the room and setting his mug on one of the nightstands as he folded his arms over his chest.

Ardyn offered up a weak smile, his legs and arms numb enough at this point that he couldn’t even bother to reach out to his darling husband.

“Did no one bother to... to teach you the rest of the verse? Curiosity killed the cat… but satisfaction... brought him back,” he panted with a smug little smile.

Cor ran a hand over his face as he listened to this, shaking his head. “So… what?  _ This _ is a result that you’re happy enough with to repeat it?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Clearing his throat a little, Ardyn looked away from the expression Cor was now giving him to stare at the rather interesting patterns of their ceiling. “Perhaps… not the best outcome I’ll admit. Should’ve… thought my words out more… carefully. Bit hard when you… can’t breath..”

“And whose fault is that, hmm?” Cor asked as he finally stepped closer and truly got a good look at the idiot.

For as brilliant as Ardyn was, the man could also be amazingly inept.

Like the time he thought adding regular dish soap to the dishwasher would work just as well.  _ “Well we didn’t have dishwashers when I was growing up centuries ago!” _

Or the time he decided to wash his red scarf with Cor’s white shirts.  _ “What? If we didn’t have dishwashers do you honestly think we had washing machines?” _

But this… this had to take the cake for the most idiotic thing he’d ever bore witness to.

Ardyn had taken it upon himself to try and fit into Cor’s old Crownsguard fatigues. Whether it was because he thought it would be funny, sexy or simply because he thought he’d look good in them, Cor couldn’t even pretend to hazard a guess. Now the man lay on their bed all but busting at the seams. The trousers kept his legs sticking almost straight out and the jacket was hugging his chest so tightly a button was more than likely going to bust and put someone's eye out if he took a deep breath. Luckily his chest was so constricted that it didn’t seem to be a problem at the moment.

“Ya know… I really don’t think that’s your size, love,” Cor said, trying hard to fight back the amused smile attempting to take over his features.

Ardyn glared up at him and Cor’s smile finally won out.

“Such wit… such banter… remind me to seek your… your sharp tongue during the… next council meeting,” Ardyn gasped out, making an abortive attempt at moving his hands while he spoke. The fact that he couldn’t making him scowl much to Cors amusement as he knew how expressive Ardyn liked to be.

Cor snorted at the ridiculous display and shook his head. “Really? You’re still gonna attempt to act all high brow when you’re like…  _ this _ ?” he asked, moving closer and sending a little poke to Ardyn's stomach, listening to the man grumble.

“Ooooh... just you wait until I’m... free of these earthly bonds,” Ardyn growled in his sonorous voice, eyes narrowed up at his smirking darling. “You will be... in  _ so _ much trouble.”

“I think I can handle a man who got stuck in a pair of trousers three times too small for him,” Cor chuckled, walking around the bed and surveying the situation to try and figure out the best way to extricate his darling.

Ardyn huffed at the comment, his glare morphing into a look of resignation. “Fair enough,” he acquiesced, watching the way Cor circled him like a bird of prey. “You know… you always look handsome with… your thinking face on,” Ardyn said with a charming smile quirking up the corners of his lips.

Cor rolled his eyes at that and moved to kneel on the bed, shuffling closer as he began to try and undo the buttons of his former Crownsguard jacket. “This isn’t my thinking face. This is my ‘ _ my husband makes me question my sanity _ ’ face,” he said as he began the careful process of trying to undo the tightly fastened buttons so that nothing would spring free and bean him in the forehead. “How did you manage this?! You can’t even move your arms!” Cor growled in frustration after a few minutes, managing to undo at least one button before moving on to fumble with the next.

Ardyn’s smile grew and he wiggled his fingers. “A miracle, my dear,” he said, looking so pleased with himself.

Cor paused, looking up at the man with the most bored expression he could muster.. “... a miracle?”

Ardyn nodded, puffing his chest out proudly… or rather trying to, though the stretch of fabric had Cor wincing in sympathy for his poor uniform. “Yes. A miracle... that my arms didn’t lose feeling in them... until... I was able to do up the last button,” he said with a cheeky smile.

Cor hung his head, heaving a deep sigh. “Ridiculous.”

“Resilient,” Ardyn shot back, the smirk on his lips looking far too good there.

Cor looked up, narrowing his eyes. “Impossible.”

“Impressive.”

“Foolish.”

“Fetching,” Ardyn offered in reply, giving the saddest little shimmy of his hips and that’s when it happened.

The sound of ripping fabric… the pop of a thread breaking away from its mortal coil… and finally the resounding  _ plink  _ of a vengeful trouser button making contact with the forehead of the Immortal.

“ _ SHIVA’S TITS! _ ” Cor shouted, his hands flying up to cover his poor stinging head and blocking out the room as it fell into absolute silence following the mini chaos.

Everything seemed to come to a halt, like time itself was afraid to move forward for fear of Cor’s wrath.

And then, just as quickly, the silence was broken by a snort and quickly followed by deep, unrestrained laughter. Ardyn tried desperately to keep himself in check, but it was no use.

“Ahahastral’s above!” he laughed whole-heartedly, tears of mirth in his eyes as Cor peeked out from his hands, wishing he was more upset with the laughter then he was.

“Stop it! You’re going to pop another button!” Cor growled as he watched the remaining buttons all but crying out for help. His hands lowered, hovering over his husband’s chest in the hopes his reflexes could save him from another battle scar.   
  
The comment mixed with the look of horror on Cor’s face only seemed to egg on his poor sweetheart. Ardyn’s laughter had reached the wheezing stage and was going into a higher pitch that always surprised Cor considering how deep his husband’s voice normally was.

“Ihihihit s-sounded so stuhuhuhpihihihid!” Ardyn tried to say, giggling ridiculously and making Cor smile despite the stinging on his forehead and in his pride. “ _ Plink! _ ” Ardyn squeaked before laughing so hard he went silent, shoulders and chest still shaking with the force of it. Sadly Cor couldn’t help finding himself joining in.

“Y-you are such a prihihick,” Cor chuckled, getting a whine from his husband who was trying and failing to get himself under control.

“Stahahap… my… my sihihides,” Ardyn wheezed before another fit of giggles escaped him.

Cor rolled his eyes fondly, shaking his head as his poor husband continued to try and fail to calm from the ridiculous accident. “I hope this will teach you a lesson then. Your actions have consequences,” Cor said with mock sternness, pointing to his forehead.

Ardyn’s bright gold eyes turned to his husband then, gaze flicking up to the small welt with four perfect little button holes now starting to rise on the man's forehead.

And any ground he’d gained in trying to calm himself was tossed out the window as his laughter picked up again.

Cor sighed at the reaction though a smile remained on his face.

Eventually, Ardyn was able to calm himself, though a few bubbling giggles would manage to work their way free as Cor once again began to try and free him.

“I… promise to think my actions through next time,” Ardyn said, finally taking in a proper lungful of breath as Cor managed to get the last button of his old coat undone on his husband's chest.

“Next time?” Cor asked, helping to maneuver Ardyn’s arms out of the sleeves. “If you think I’m not putting this outfit under lock and key so you can’t get to it again, you’re wrong.”

Ardyn chuckled, giving a happy little sigh as his arms were finally free and wiggling his fingers to get some blood flowing back in them. “I meant in general, Lion Heart. Lest I manage to hurt you again,” Ardyn said, and though mirth remained in his eyes, Cor could hear the underlying regret. Regret that something he had done had hurt someone he loved.

“Don’t even think about it,” Cor said, smiling a bit more at the slightly surprised expression he got from his husband. He let his eyes move to meet Arydn’s ducking down to press a chaste kiss to his brow. “You’re ridiculous, curious and absolutely perfect the way you are. If you weren’t getting into trouble one way or another I’d think something was wrong,” he teased gently.

Arydn’s ears flushed slightly at the comments, the only tell he really had that the words had found their mark perfectly. “Does… this mean that I’m not in trouble for the button to the forehead incident?” he asked, giving a little yelp as Cor flicked the center of his own forehead before sitting up.

“I think we’re even now. And I think losing feeling to your limbs is punishment enough. Now… lift your hips while I try to shuck these pants off you,” Cor said simply, getting up to stand at the end of the bed.

Ardyn threw an arm over his forehead dramatically, the other clutched over his chest. “You really know how to speak to a man, don’t you? Who says romance is dead? My heart beats madly! My insides all a quiver!” he said, pretending to swoon.

“Ridiculous.”

“And you love it.”

Cor couldn’t stop from smiling at that, reaching down to grab the bottoms of his former trousers. “I do… now… hang on tight.”

“Oooh~ I haven’t heard you talk like this since our honeymo-AH!!”

Sadly the yank may have had a bit too much force behind it... and Ardyn may or may not have completely disregarded the warning as he was all but pulled from the bed and the pair ended up in a pile on the floor. 

Laughter soon echoed around their bedroom once more.


End file.
